Ignore the towel taped around Marlee's crib. You can assume what her new favorite past time in her crib is, but that's another post.
Once Marlee became even the slightest bit mobile she has wanted to go, go, go. No more sitting on my lap, snuggling, or cuddling, oh no. I cherish snuggle time as it is very few and far between. The only time she will snuggle into me is before or after naps and bedtime.
A little back story..
Once Marlee became mobile, if I would try to rock her before bed she wouldn't have it. She would wiggle and squirm until I put her in her crib. She has always been such a great sleeper and has no problems putting herself to sleep and staying asleep, that is, until lately.
First, let me say, over the past few months, Marlee has been better about Dave or I rocking her before bed and I am loving every minute of it!
So, over the past couple of weeks M has had a rough time getting to sleep, especially at night. So, what do I do? Rock her, of course. And she now loves it! It has gotten to the point where she will not just go to sleep, oh no. She wants to be rocked to sleep. I have mixed feelings about this because although I love to rock her, I don't always have the time. However, I cannot listen to my daughter cry. On Thursday, Dave rocked and rocked her and she would not go to sleep. We decided to put her down and give it 5 minutes. It...was...hell! After about a minute I told Dave I am going in there, and then...it stopped. She was so exhausted. I went into her room and told her Mama was so sorry she made her cry. I seriously wanted to wake her up and rock her.
Here is my conclusion...
Poor Marlee, we are confusing her. Sometimes Dave or I will rock her to sleep and sometimes we won't. What kind of structure is she getting with this? I cannot let her cry, fuss yes, but cry, no. How can I let her cry when I know she wants nothing more than to be comforted and loved by Dada and I. However, I also want to teach her to self soothe, which she has been great at for 10 1/2 months. I know, I want it all!
So, starting this week I am going to work with her. Before naps I will rock her for about five or ten minutes and then put her down. You know, drowsy but awake, and see how it goes. Bedtime will be the most difficult. Marlee seems to have a harder time when Dada is home.
But....I cannot let her cry! We'll see how it goes...
ETA-I think we might have found the culprit. Marlee cut one of her front, top teeth today..yipee!
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4 comments:
Ugh @ Teething! Hopefully her good sleep will return with the new tooth.
I will say that being consistent has really paid off in our house. Since the babies were tiny we would always rock them while singing three songs and then it was off to bed. For MANY MANY months we would have to rock and re-rock them up to 5 and 6 times each a night before they truly settled in for sleep. These days they are running around like lunatics until 7:30 then we get their animals and it's off to sing and rock. The minute we start singing they settle in and cuddle. They go from 100 miles an hour to calm and ready for bed after one song. We lay them down and 97% of the time it is for the night. Rarely we will still have to rock Shenzie in the middle of the night if she wakes crying and can't get back to sleep. We give them a couple of minutes to settle themselves and if they don't then we rerock them and lay them back down. Like you I can't listen to them cry and would go running right in after one second if not for Jeff and the fact that like you, I wanted them to learn to self soothe. So far since seperating them they have both turned into awesome sleepers, but I really think it had to do with being consistent. OMG did I just write a book or what!!! All that to say be consistent with whatever you method of nighttime routine you choose and I'm sure it will benefit you later.
I will not write a book as our dear sister did, but I will say this... I think you should do what makes you and Dave happy. I do not believe there is a wrong answer for this one. I think you are doing an amazing job and I know you will continue to do an amazing job. I also believe every child is different and has different needs. I think it is adorable how worried you are over it. It just shows how much you love Marlee Moo.
Keep up the good work mama!!
Mark was always the one that said let her cry. I had the hardest time. I would stand by the door and he would just shake his head at me. I couldn't handle it.
She will grow out of it. Rock her while she will let you and enjoy it!!!
This is such a stressful dilema. I am not looking forward to it with Maison. My advice, since you asked (hahahah!), or at least what I think I figured out with Madeline, is really similar to what Lesley said. Just be consistent. You don't have to let her cry if you don't want to. Pick her up, rock her again until she's "drowsy but awake" and lay her back down. With Madeline, I finally got to a point where I thought she did need to cry, but I'd leave her for 5 min. at a time not 5,10,15,20 like the books say. If she wasn't asleep after about half an hour, I'd get her up, read her a book or go watch tv, then try it all again. Something that really seemed to work when I was having trouble, was putting M to bed half hour to an hour late for a few days, so she'd be really tired. I'd really screw her up by getting her to sleep by herself, then going back to rocking her, just a little, because I loved doing it so much. I actually had to take the rocker out of M's room when she was 20 months because she'd wake up in the night asking to be rocked.
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